Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
