I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
