I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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