long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But break dance skills will only take you so far
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize