Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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