No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
