We need to rekindle our bromance
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
