My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
