I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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