So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize