I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
