I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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