I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize