I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize