I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
