I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i would punch a child for taco bell
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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