Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
