hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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