let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
