the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
