But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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