if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
