Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
