You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
