yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
