called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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