I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
