do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize