You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
