you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
