Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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