MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
