Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize