It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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