I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
