You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
