all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
