Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
