Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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