I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
