I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
