ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it hurts more in the daytime
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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