just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
