Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
