What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
