You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
