wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
