Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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