I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My feet surprised me
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