Do you still have your period?
Me too!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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