there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
