He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
