Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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