I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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