i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
