You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
