Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
