Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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