Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize