bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
