You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
