is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize