Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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