bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
