i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
