You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My vagina is officially offended.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
