We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
