It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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