I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Even my vagina gasped.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
