I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize