He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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