If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
