Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
