Is it because I queefed?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
