names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
