it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
