Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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