how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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