yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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